wrigley field is MILF paradise
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
23 Concerns People Have When They’re About To Have Sex With Someone New
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning