why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I got chris browned last night
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
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I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
my sisters under your porch take her home
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
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My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?