he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
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My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
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A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?