We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander