Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life