If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You're like the curious george of whores
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run