oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.