The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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