So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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