I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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