Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
babies were throwing up all over the place
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
