hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
and you said cock pushups were impossible
She's 40ish and I couldn't wake her up with a stick of dynamite. My sheets are going to be covered in glitter lotion and smell like grape vodka and shattered dreams tomorrow.
Aren't divorce parties fun?
You and I have very different definitions of fun.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
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