I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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