im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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