I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
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