Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
