The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
