they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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