he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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