OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
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His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
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I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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