OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
