I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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