dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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