just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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