Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
it hurts more in the daytime
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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