I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
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