Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Randomize
