those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Randomize
