Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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