Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
