I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Randomize
