Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
the raccoons are back...
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