Its about making memories worth repressing
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
