We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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