I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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