He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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