I like my sex mixed with concussions.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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