is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
