There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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