I am in a vortex of obligation.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
