My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
