I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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