Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
