you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
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