She is in my trunk
Its about making memories worth repressing
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
