You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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