He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
