Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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