mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
i now understand why vodka
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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