Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
