i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
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