I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I AM VODKA MAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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