Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
