I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
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I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Will exercising make me less horny?
the raccoons are back...
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