Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
