I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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