the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
