If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
