how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
