My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
