now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I pour the whiskey from now on
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