Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
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He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
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I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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