do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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