She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
