Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Randomize
