Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize