I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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