your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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