I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
